Safe Spaces don’t create themselves, which is why we need your help. <3
We as QuiS want to provide a safe space for every member of the LGBTQIA+ community, where everyone’s identity is respected and where we can feel safe and right at home. To ensure that QuiS can provide that, we came up with a few guidelines, though all of these should be obvious anyways :]
In short: We won’t tolerate racism, colorism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, biphobia, islamophobia, antisemitism, fascism and bodyshaming of any kind, as well as ableism. Everyone is to be treated with respect, only a person’s correct pronouns can be used and no one’s identity is allowed to be questioned or made a point of discussion.
Furthermore, here’s some tips for conversations:
- stating your pronouns when introducing yourself helps other people refer to you correctly and also destigmatizes the noting of pronouns in favor of trans identities
- if you don’t know someone’s pronouns or simply aren’t sure, ask them politely. They’ll be happy you asked instead of just assumed :] it’s also important to check which pronouns are okay depending on the language of conversation
- confirm whether who you’re talking to feels comfortable being referred to with gendered terms (e.g. “sis”, “bro”, “king”, “queen” etc ). If not, just leave them out or ask about alternatives 🙂 (personal favorites here include “sib” [from sibling], “royalty”/”your majesty”/”your highness”/”your eminence”/”my liege”/”legend” etc)
- If you do misgender someone accidentally and they correct you, just quickly apologize so you can both move on, don’t make a big deal out of it
- when you are referring to all people, use „them“ instead of „him or her“
- refrain from using words like “stupid”, “dumb”, “silly”, “unintelligent”, “foolish”, “mindless”, “brainless”, ”not smart” or “retarted” when you want to refer to something bad. Feel free to use terms like “shit” instead!
- also do not say someone is an “idiot”, “fool” or a “moron”. Please also don’t call someone “crazy”, “mad”, “insane”, “psychotic” or a “psychopath/sociopath”.
Don’t comment on anything a person can’t change about themselves in 5 minutes.
- Do: “Hey, sorry, I think you have something stuck in your teeth.”
- Don’t: “Hey, I don’t like your hair.”
When controversial topics arise, let people who are more involved/educated than you speak and help amplify their voices in the conversation so we can all walk away from it more informed, less ignorant and as friends.
If you feel someone is not sticking to these guidelines/has made you or a friend feel unsafe during one of our events, we highly encourage you to reach out to us, so we can take the necessary steps to ensure our safe space can stay a safe space.
At events, you can just come up to any orga-team member and talk to us or send us a message 🙂
Safe space correspondents: Freddi (she/her), Sarah (she/her), Max (they/them)
We also have a flag warning system as a part of our Safe Space Concept:
Rule 1: ‘Purple Flag’
DEALING WITH DISCRIMINATORY LANGUAGE/BEHAVIOUR IN CONVERSATIONS
- If someone says something discriminatory, say ‘purple flag‘/‘lila Fahne‘ . Then…
- ‘Thanks for telling me! …I know what I phrased in a discriminatory way. / I don‘t know what part of what I said was discriminatory. Can you explain or should I research it on my own?‘
→ What we need from you: shared commitment – agreement to use the ‘purple flag‘-concept on a regular basis
Rule 2: ‘Red Flag’
DEALING WITH ARISING PERSONALTRIGGERS IN CONVERSATIONS
- If someone says something related to a personal trigger of yours, say ‘red flag‘/‘rote Fahne‘ . Then…
- ‘Thank you for telling me! Do you need any help or space right now?‘
→ What we need from you: respect for personal boundaries – change the topic and don‘t bring it up again with that person.
Rule 3: ‘Purple Cocktail’
DEALING WITH INTRUSIVE BEHAVIOUR: WHAT IF YOU WANT/NEED HELP FROM ANOTHER PERSON?
- If someone says/does something intrusive or makes you feel uncomfortable, so that you want help from another person, mention a purple cocktail e.g ‘I think I‘ll take a purple cocktail.‘/‘Do you still have the purple cocktail?‘ directed at an orga-member or a member of staff. Then…
- Try to get the person mentioning the purple cocktail out of the situation e.g. ‘Let‘s go ask someone.‘/‘Come with me, I‘ll make one for you.‘
- Finally: offer help, e.g. ‚How can I help you?‘ and figure out together how to best proceed with the situation, e.g. consider removing the aggressor.
→ What we need from you: Ask for help! If you sense someone feeling uncomfortable in a certain situation, you can also ask them if they want a purple cocktail.